Life Sweet and yet SUCKs.........

My life turned so sweet from the say im with Andy.. And i never thought that we will get married. And as planned, our ROM date is confirmed on 14Feb 2012.
I have alot of things to tell him..I dont mind telling him here cos i know for sure he will read this.

Dear, thanks for all your loves and cares towards me.. Especially when im feeling really down. I loved you more than anybody. My love for you has increased tremendously within these few months and has never ever decrease.. I stayed with you in these 3 weeks and even made me feel that you can take care of me forever. I know you are the man for me in my whole life. Everyday make sure i dont go hungry, make sure i sleep well, make sure im covered with blanket before you slp and also ask me what i wanna wear to work tomorrow and will prepare the clothes for me. you have never failed to let go of my hands when we are crossing the road or even in bus.. you have always made me feel warmth and your love. No one has ever treated me so sweet apart from my family. You took care of me so well. I know you are cold middle of the night cos i can feel your legs are cold but YOU NEVER ADMIT!! You always says "I go hungry nvm but you cannot". haha.. this has became your slogan for me..
I really want you to be my one and only for the rest of my life. But its up to fate. You just need to promise me something. Whatever it is, don't cry for me. You are a tough guy.. and i can say you are a perfect guy. You said i am the first gal you will cry for but i also want to be the last gal that you will be crying for. Can you promise? Nothing in this world will be exactly how you had worked out.. there are things that you will be unexpected of. Example: you never expect that we will be together right? Now we are.
I have caused you alot of troubles. You should know what i meant. From the day i knew you till now, you have never ever been this down before thats y i keep asking you if im bringing bad luck to you. You have sacrificed alot of things for me. even your 2nd financial income. 我害到你很厉害...
I know you always been feeling stress over money issue, you have always said that this sure can be solved. I know.. But how soon can that be? I really doesnt want to see you so stress everytime.. When can heaven give me back my happy go lucky hubby? I really dont know. Soon? I hope...

Now comes my family.. I suddenly felt that my whole family is scattered. I merely trying to help "someone" but end up landed me in fucking big trouble. I really had a hard time explaining to everyone of them in the family.. Im really mentally stress.. To admit, i have tried to ------------ before, but my dearest has to come and hug and comfort me that everything's gonna be ok. and of cos, i have given up that thought at that moment. But i realised as time pass, this thought has came back again out of a sudden. I have to keep myself real busy to stop having that silly thought. But once im free, im in it again.. i think i will suffer from depression soon. Whatever hubby hug me, this thought will really fly off my mind. And when im alone and worst still when im bathing, i will keep looking at the things that can make me "SLP ALL THE WAY WITHOUT WAKING UP". i knew im silly and i also know that the ppl around me will be very damn sad cos of my selfishness. But thats the only way which can make me feel that i am free from all stress. And today, im going home officially after 3 weeks stay from hubby's house. Im praying that everything's gonna be fine and the thought will not come to me when hubby's not here. I have not seen my own hair gets long. I havent get the chance to wear the bridal gown. I have not seen hubby wear the groom's suit. Most important is, i have not seen hubby's "old" face. i wanna see him get old as years pass in the future. I have not been to alot of places with him yet. Maybe that's his dream as what he has told me last night. i knew he was crying but i dont wanna make him "paisei".

I knew that he's afraid that he will not be able to see me the next day. And i have even promised him that he will. is this "empty promise"?? Haiz.. I dunno.. I only know that im really really mentally stress and physically tired thats all. I want a good rest. I want a good sleep. I want a clear mind. But how long do i need to wait for all these to happen? i cant even stand for 1sec more.i just want it NOW.. If smoking really can kills me, i will rather smoke if i've a thousands to do it.,. BUT NO LEI!!!! buay sai..... haha.. ok.. this is 废话.. i know..

anyway someone is already peeping at this post when i have not even blog it! Bless u all that you can still see my post in the future.. I dont hope this to be the last post i will ever post either.

Pray that you all will be fine and including myself.

Love you, my hubby..


=)

Tired and yet Happy

Life sometimes is so sickening. It brought happiness and sadness at the same time..
Im happy cos i have Andy with me everyday, sad is he's sick.. he's losing his voice soon..Poor him..And its like im the one who brought this on him. I bought him heaty food and let him drink cold water. Aiyo...im such a "GOOD" wife..kinda feeling guilty since day one he was sick..But i still buy his fav food for him cos i dun wan him to feel unhappy.. The both of us are so silly..
Although whatever i said now might not seems to be im treating him. I love him very much and yet at the same time i like to bite him..
these were the things that he had did for me..
1. buy me Winnie The Pooh
2. accompany me out for dinner always even though his mom has cooked his dinner
3. help me with my jobs when he know that i have got too many jobs on hands but he has many also.
4. brought me to the doctor middle of the night cos im not feeling well
5. buy dinner for my family no matter how tired he is that day
6. wherever i wanna go he sure will accompany me
7. Doesnt allow me to go buy lunch at times cos he always says the weather very hot
8. Always ask me to slp early
9. must dry my hair
10. helps me solve my family problems
11. let me bite
12. let me scold
13. let me scream
14. let me pinch
15. buy me chocolates when he make me angry
16. respect my decisions
17. doesnt allow me to go home myself
18. he send me straight home and see me close the door then he go back on his own
19. buy cigarettes for me
20. give me surprises
21. always pay when i buy things
22. takes care of me at work
23. reminds me to take my meds when im not feeling well
24. no matter how tired he is,he will still wait for me to slp before he slp
25. send me sweet sms before he goes to slp
26. always ask me what i feel like eating without thinking of himself
27. love me more than he loves himself
28. hug me when im feeling very down

And i guess many many more that i didnt mention...He's such a sweet darling.. Although i can see him at work everyday, but i still miss him.. so sometimes i have time, i will turn my head and look at him for awhile to make sure that he's fine..

5 more mths to our ROM, feeling excited and happy..only after that day then i can feel that he's totally mine..im afraid that i will lose him before our ROM..so i keep thinking of a way to make him happy and feel my love. Thats y i keep giving him surprises these few days. I dont want him to leave me anytime. I need him by my side forever and thats for sure..

Its him who helped me get over my ex.. Its him who make me smile again whenever i cried. Its him who always help me with my jobs. Its always him..I guess i cant do anything more if i lose him.

Baby, i may have said this many times but i still wanna say this..

I love you, i really do..I know you wont get tired of me saying this. You are such a silly dear to me.. let me bully you all the time without even thinking of revenging..You dote on me so much that i began to rely on you so much..you love me so much that i started to feel i cant live without you..you miss me so much that i started to miss you just like how you miss me every min every sec.. sometimes you hug me so tight that i know i couldn't breathe but i still dun wan you to let go..With you by my side, i know whatever i will encounter in the future couldn't tear me down..you are already my pillar of strength..i love and need you forever..

Hope your love for me will stay strong always till the end of our life,honey..

Muack.. =)

My new life starts from June...

I have never thought that i could find a serious guy who really love me more than i have ever loved him. I guess no one has ever thought that the person is him. Yes, he is Andy from my office. He is the one giving me a new life..A very happy life.. Maybe this is fate who brought me into this office and gotta know him. Our serious love life starts on 22 June 2011.
How do we got started? hmmm..he didnt ask me be his gf..haha..kinda wierd. But what i can only remember so far is he keep asking me to miss him. At first i found it quite wierd but as time passed, im ok with it.
In the beginning, i dunno how true he is to me cos afterall he's my once a close friend's ex bf. When they were together, i didnt even know about it till Yvone hinted me abt it. At that point of time i can felt hurt. but i dunno exactly why i felt this way.Its meant to be a secret between the 2 of them, but i guess Yvone cant tahan liao so she hinted me. she always says Andy got no time for her at all, call him no ans and sms him no reply. and im so stupid to tell her that this type of guys dun wan better ba..But in the end,im with him.. Sounds not right though,but i cant "siam" this fate lei.. haha
when we first got together,he told me alot of things n which i didnt even realised. He had secretly like me long ago. and i just heard from him that he doesnt wanna let her disclose partly cos of me. Thats silly.. After i got together with him then i realised i got feelings for him long ago ba.. i just didnt realised that.
first day with him together was damn paisei in the office.. WTF!! cos we used to be very close friends but endup out of a sudden we became couple. Under that kind of situation is really very difficult to "swallow" and react!!!!! hahahahaha! But he's the one who made the 1st move by hugging me.. haha! WOW!!! shocked sia... but i dunno why the first time he hugged me i felt his love liao. Power hor??
The 1st day together we shared in facebook that we are in a relationship liao.. I dun wanna be another Yvone.. I dun wan to have an "underground relationship" with him lo.. But surprisingly, he agreed to put our relationship status "IN A RELATIONSHIP" ..heehee.. i was smiling non stop lo.. but i cannot too siao zhang..haha..
i remembered the 1st shopping we went was...U GUESS..........MUSTAFA!!! OMG! fucking romantic DAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO................. With so many "AH NEI". But i got something in return! my fav Winnie The Pooh. Thats the 1st gift that he had bought for me.
As time passed,MORE & MORE WINNIE THE POOH APPEARED!! very small, small, big ,LARGE...I dunno why whatever he did to me was what a bf should do but i still feel so damn happy abt it. Crazy liao. Till now also felt the same way.. Whenever i see him smile, my heart will melt.... But when he smile to other gals the same way, i fucking wanna beat him up!!!!
I cant remember when did we mention we wanna get married liao.. i know thats fast but this is fate lo.. we have so many things in common. Example: Food, smoke, he drink but i dun drink.. most of all is WE ARE BOTH CUTE! hahaha! but he act cute more than me!
My wedding gowns and his suit already settled.. Now waiting for his parents side to confirm the venue..Even the list of guests are already ready.Everything that we needed already planned nicely.
Rom date will be in 14 Feb 2012, 5 more mths to be exact as today is 14 Sep.. We left 5 more mths to prepare all the necessary things..then im officially MRS TAN and he is officially MR CHOY!! hahahaha!
Although we are getting married soon, i felt that his love for me seems to increase!
OHHHH WAIT! before i forget something! If u got see his silly face last night, i bet u will laugh non stop! where got ppl like that de!!!! i told him i at his house downstairs but he still can whatsapp me and say "YA, LIKE REAL!" knn him..... I carried the water bottle all the way from my house to his house for him at 11pm plus lo.. cos he sick mah.. bo bian. i dun wan him sick PLUS next week Gain City Expo... i dun wanna DO ALONE!!! if not i will die.. so i make the herbal tea for him. he shocked tilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.................
i know he was touched last night le..his face already showed everything in his mind. He said no one has ever treated him this nice b4. YOU BELIEVE??? NO?? but i believe if not i die till very ugly... hahahaha...
Now he sitting beside me and reading every single word that i type. So no point say so much liao..
This is what i wanna say to him:

Dear, i may not be able to love u more than you love me. But i promise u, i will do my very best in being a good wife to you. Will take care of u whenever you are sick(i hope no),i will love u as much as i can..I maybe sensitive,hot tempered,stubborn and many many more..i hope you will bear with me and love me the same like now in the future. My love for you doesnt decrease but increase tremendously in this few months. Its cos of your love i felt happiness,its cos of your hug and smile that makes me feel warmth. Thank you for everything hubby. Apart from you, i will not share my love with anyone. Sometimes i feel so sorry to throw temper on you and maybe made you feel that i dont love you anymore. But in my heart, im loving you more and more each day. Trust me,honey..My heart, brain and mind is all filled up with your everything. Even if one day(touchwood), i were to knock down by a car that cost me to lose all my memories about you, pls promise me to regain our sweet memories.. I do not want to lose you. Apart from my family, the most important is you. I truly love you with all my heart. Muack hubby..


K la, i think he wanna cry after reading this..haha.. my turn to go smoke later and i shall see whats his reaction. But still, these are hidden in my heart and which i will tell you face to face when we get married.

Love u hubby...

14 Sep 2011

Im back again for blogging!

Time flies..i guess its been months i didnt blog..too lazy. =)
Im still with the same guy which i was talking about. already cming to 4th month. but im still thinking how far we can go..Let fate decides for us.I still love him as much as i did in the past,but somehow i realised cause of quarrel,we tends to ruin this relationship ourselves. We managed to pullback and salvage it after all those quarrels that we had..He lied to me once and its really difficult for me to trust him again. Although he had said he did nothing wrong behind me,and he told that lie out of goodwill and which he dont know how to tell me the truth. Im so silly till i buy his words.i believed everything he said..Now he became better after we had a good talk that day over fb chat.. Hope he will stay the same to me.WITHOUT TELLING LIES...

Terrible at work lei..This new colleague is sometimes cute and somtimes annoying..haha! How should i put it?? He's fast in buying lunch for us..but slow in learning. I may have the patience at times to teach him what i know.But when im busy, i really have no time to teach him at all.I passed him some of my jobs but end up i have to take back cos he doesnt really "care" about it..Should i put it this way??
I know i have been throwing temper everyday cos im too busy and he cant help me at all.Im feeling guilty abt it everytime i knock of..Although i complain everyday,but thinking back,he's my junior. i must have patience in teaching him whatever i know..and giving him a chance to adapt to our busy timing and urgent jobs that we have everyday.
Gradually,he's learning..bit by bit..he's able to catch up abit of our things..Sounds good..but i dunno how far he can go.. Me and Andy have been teaching him everyday. Hopfully he's able to catch up faster..

Guess thats all i wanna update ba..I shall see when is my laziness gonna go away then i come back blog again! =)

Weekend again!

Its been a week since i went back to work after 2 weeks off..a very tired week for me..
First i will update my work!
Gabriel last year left once,and came back..now he left again..This time he left without any notice!! wa piang!Left all those "sai" for me and andy to kio.. what the hell. Me and Andy thought something must have happened to him thats y he didnt answer our calls..but end up he told Andy that he sian thats y dun wan come back liao. Dunno what is in his mind at that moment.. Now whatever unfinished jobs he had left,me and andy gotta take over.Damn..
Love!
Baby is treating me nicer and nicer each day..And this makes me love him more n more each day. I dunno is it due to his age,he seems to know how to dote on his partner more than anyone else. Whenever he wake up,go work,go smoke,buy dinner,knock off,reach home and go sleep will call and sms me..everyday without fail..He is so sweet.Im praying everyday that hopefully we do not have any difficult obstacles ahead of us. If not i dunno how to face it.Im so stress in the beginning,but he calmed me down..So till now,i have no regrets being with him..Hope this sweetness and love from him wont stop............
Home? Nothing to say. Dont wanna bring up my unhappiness again. Sick and tired of it.I just want myself to be happy everyday thats all....... =)

New Love.. ♥♥

I have broke up with Shawn for about a week or so. I just cant stand being controlled by him.I have got OT at times but he dun seems to understand and also keep asking me why OT no extra money but i still need to work OT.This is my job to accomplish whatever i have with me on time.I cant afford to pay for the client if the advertisement does not come out on the newspaper or tv as requested. Now then i realised that im not sad at all cos i have made the right decision in leaving.
Soon after i broke off with him,i'm in love again.Although its faster than i have ever thought,but i really felt the love that i cant even feel when im with Shawn.Im not trying to compare my new love with Shawn but in fact i felt that i love my new love more..
He let me feel as though im his princess.I just went movie with him last Fri..He was holding my hands throughout the whole movie..I fell asleep halfway..lol..He kept helping me to pull my jacket just in case im cold..Maybe due to his age,he is more caring towards his partner. Thats what i love about him. No matter how tired he is after work,he will always come and find me after shower.That what makes me love him even more..He always call me whenever he go smoke when he's at work,he made me feel so warmth and loved..He tends to purposely call and explained things to me just in case i misunderstood him or prevent me from anyhow think.Im those type which i will..But a simple call from him makes my day.He just wants me to feel secured instead of worrying what he's doing and where he will be at work.
Loving him needs alot of courage and which im not very well prepared for it.I only care about the present but not in the future.He told me before that nobody knows about the future. Its true enough.But im just wondering when can we be in a open-relationship rather than to go somewhere else to chat every night.
I have to hide this relationship from my family members..I do not dare to disclose it.. I do not know how my family will react after they came to know about it..i guess someone will have a heart attack or someone might be happy to know about this.Im not sure either..But cos of him,im ready to face any difficulties in the future..
Needless to say,i love him. Im very well informed of his past..But everyone has a past..Maybe he doesnt want me to know about it thats y till now he didnt tell me.I only know I only love the present him not the one in the past..As long as he treats me well enough,im fine..
Hope me and him can stay as long as we can..Bless me...♥♥♥♥♥